"If you can hear this, don't assume that I'm talking to you... Yesterday everything I thought I believed in died...."

"I don't need you, I say it to myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't need somebody."

"Everyone with half a soul, will hear this and'll never leave me.."

"I'll show you what it feels like without it"

"Leaving me alone to die, is worse then having the guts to kill me.."

"It's not that I made myself a list of new and different ways to murder your heart.."

"So turn around, walk away, before you confuse the way we abuse eachother"

"If you're not afraid of getting hurt, then I'm not afraid of how much I hurt you.."

"There's a crack in my soul, you thought was a smile."

"Why is my wound a frontdoor to you?"

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."

I was reading back those memories... Those words you once wrote me... Those promises you once made me...
I was secretly reading them and tears started to burn in my eyes..
How could I ever be so blind and cold for the things you told me then. Those amazing things you said to me.. How could I be so damn blind.

I just wonder if you ever read the messages we sent to each other back then. And I wonder how you feel about them now.
I wonder if there's still a tiny bit left of the feelings you used to feel for me.

I just wonder if there's ever a chance to restore the bond we used to have, which was so dear to me. And seemed to be to you too.

I just wonder.

Cause I do, still, feel for you.

............

Bedankt pa.........

Godverdomme wat was dit een heeerlijk feest.... in meer opzichten dan dat Daymar onwijs lekker draaide....

I'm so done with being last choice..
I'm so done with people thinking, that it's okay to leave me to bleed, at all cost.
I'm so done with fake promises people make me.

Why do people always find their way to my heart, without me even knowing it, and breaking it just as fast. It seems that people really enjoy hurting me.

Pushing people away for ages worked better then having the hopes up to become friends anyways.. That keeps the heart save and the wall strong. I'm planning on never letting down the wall around my heart ever again.. But time after time, it seems to be worthwhile to do so. But at the same time, I feel stupid. I'll be mad with myself, for doing something I told myself to never let happen again. But for doing it anyways..

I know I say "A heart that hurts, is a heart that works".. But I rather prefer not to let it get hurt so much...
I'm far too bitter already.. I don't want to become more bitter, then I already am...

Well...

"Friendship is a fairytale. We know it's unreal, but we all like to believe"

I went to London last fruday, which was absolutely AMAZING!!



And I'm going back in 2 months for 5 days. Going to stay with Paula and the girls then.

To celebrate Michael's 52st birthday, we'll have a party over there!

The other days I'll be there, we're going to do some sightseeing. Go to Camden Town and the Eye.

I'll be going alone this time. I be just fine, cause I know the way.

It was amazing last weekend.
Seeing my brother this happy really made me feel alive again. I'm so happy we've been able to do this together and hope we'll be able to do this more often.

I love you Les.
From the bottom of my heart.

Brother&Sister4life!!

<3

I just subscribed for dance lessons!!!!
I'll start 8th of June and start to learn Billie Jean
It'll be 5 lessons for a start and I can dicide if I want to go on after this 5. They'll do Smooth Criminal, Remember the time, Ghosts, Thriller, Beat it, Dangerous and my fav. BAD!!!
So I think I might subscribe for them all!!

I always wanted to dance, but this, Michael + dance lessons = JACKPOT! A real WIN WIN!

Now hope I can make him proud!!

My bro was here yesterday and it was awesome to see him, cause I missed him, that's for sure!!

We agreed to go to BKJN later this year!!!!!!!