hoe kom ik er nou bij dat jij mij binnenkort gaat zeggen dat je een week met mij gaat zijn? Dat kan helemaal niet,.....

Pffff.... Watching trial is like watching an hours long soap.... sometimes you almost feel like crying, sad or happy tears. Other times you feel pissed off and like you want to punsh someone in the face.

I know that watching things like this aint good for my health, but I watching anyways. I want to hear everything firsthand which is, supposedly, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I've had several moments of wishing I could reach into the computer screen and slap that MOFO's face so hard..

Tomorrow another day of boiling blood and nail biting...

But I'm going to work my garden first... since no one's helping me, I'm going to do it myself!

I was having dinner with a friend tonight. It was fun and all, talked and laughed, till her phone rang. It was a friend of hers that called to said that a horse was missing. Panic. So we got our coats and ran out the door, to alarm the lady, that was living a few blocks away, that was the owner of the land on which the horse was standing. The lady didn't seemed to be bothered, so we decided to take action ourselves.

We took the bikes and cycled to the stable. Armed with nothing but flashlights we started our search. After a while, we got a call that on the other end were some cows standing at the side of a pond, looking at something. So another woman and I took the bikes and raced over there. In less then 10 minutes we cycled 6 km.. that's FAST I tell you!! Especially for me, cause I haven't been cycling for 5 years....

Once we got there, we ran over the grasslands to find the horse, which was just a foal... We hoped that it was still alive, but once we got there, it wasn't anymore. It seemed as if the poor animal gave up and drowned itself. But according to my findings, it wasn't too long ago that the animal gave up So we were probably just a few minutes late The foal was clearly stuck between poles of the embankment and couldn't get on land cause of that. But it obviously fought a bitter battle that didn't get a happy ending I think it's hung it's head and accepted death to be it's only option left. The skin of the poor horse was already cold. I think it's hindlegs were sucked in to the mud. The front legs were up and visible, head was backwards, nose down in the depths of the water. Horrible, horrible sight. We were unable to get the animal out at this time and with this less strength and because it wasn't of any use anymore anyway, we had to leave it there.

I feel horrible. That we weren't able to save this poor horse's life. We were too late. It was too dark. But, what's sickens me the most, is that the owner of the stable where this foal belonged to, knew that there was a horse missing since this afternoon and the motherfucker didn't even care to have a look. He just took off and when out of town without even making any effort to find out which horse was actually missing. So, the foal was probably fighting for hours already before it drowned. It must have suffered so badly and the worst part is; My own horse was stabled there some years ago... That really made me glad that we left back then... cause it could've been my horse!!!

What a horrible happening. Poor, poor foal...

I hope I'll be able to get some sleep without getting the image of the dead foal when I close my eyes. I wish I didn't have to be alone now... but that's the downside of living alone. Especially cause I can't have a talk about this to get it off my chest or to have a loving arm around me. Pffff..

Early day again tomorrow... My backyard will be taken care of...

Nope I can't

... can't do it like this.

I know things keep catching up with me, even when I plan on not letting it.



I wish nothing but the best for you... Don't forget me I beg.. but I'm choosing the path of not getting hurt by love anymore.

Deze stoomcabine met bad zal binnen een paar maandjes sparen van mij zijn <3

Zo, ik ben verhuist... lekker in mijn eigenste huisje, thuisje.

Men die wil kijken, let me know... you is welcome

Ik woon in Assendelft!!!

Okay, so...
Maandag krijg ik de sleutel en kan het vakmanschap beginnen. Het verbouwen zal wel even in beslag gaan nemen omdat het best wel een paleisje moet gaan worden... Maar.. Met 2 weekjes denk ik wel dat alles er moet zijn en alles af moet zijn.

Maandag als ik de sleutel krijg, ga ik meteen beginnen met verven. Dan is dat alvast gedaan en van de week ik de avond zal mijn broer mijn vloer gaan leggen. Dan alleen nog de keuken en de badkamer en dan is alles klaar om bewoond te worden.

Het word echt een huisje van mooie herinneringen. Allemaal kleine, subtiele verwijzingen naar mijn diepste geluks momentjes. Waar overigens niemand direct het bestaan vanaf zou weten. En dat is het mooiste. Mijn huis zal mijn ongrijpbare, diepe gronden weerspiegelen, waar alleen ik het bestaan van weet.

Dankzij mijn broer kan het.. Ik ben hem zo dankbaar. Voor zijn geloof in mij en zijn hulp in elke denkbare manier.

Les, je bent een held. En niet zo eentje van een film.. maar een levensechte. Ik hou van je!!

Ik heb een huis!!!!!!!
Morgen papieren tekenen en afwachten wanneer ik de sleutel krijg. Alle spullen zijn in huis, ik kan zo beginnen!!
T word een pracht paleisje voor mij en mijn twee kindjes!

Jullie zullen binnenkort foto's zien
En als alles klaar is, zal er toch wel een klein feestje zijn. Maar dat word nog doorgeven... er zullen overigens ook amper mensen aanwezig zijn

ooooooh jaa!!! Ik ga jou ZIEN!!


Of toch ook niet..