vrijdag 19 januari 2007 om 13:08
Elkaar de kleren van het lijf rukken:
met toestemming: 12 cal.
zonder toestemming: 187 cal.
Uittrekken BH:
Met beide handen: 8 cal.
Met één hand: 12 cal.
Zonder handen: 85 cal.
Voorspel:
Zoektocht naar clitoris: 8 cal.
Zoektocht naar de G-spot: 92 cal.
Standjes:
69 liggend: 8 cal.
69 staand: 1112 cal.
Italian chandelier: 912 cal.
missionaris: 12 cal.
trolley: 216 cal.
Condoom omdoen:
tijdens erectie: 6 cal.
zonder erectie: 315 cal.
Het orgasme:
echt: 112 cal.
gefaked: 315 cal.
Naspel:
in bed blijven liggen: 18 cal.
uit bed springen: 36 cal.
uitleggen waarom je meteen uit bed springt: 816 cal.
Een tweede erectie krijgen:
tussen de 16 en 19 jaar oud: 12 cal.
tussen de 20 en 29 jaar oud: 36 cal.
tussen de 30 en 39 jaar oud: 108 cal.
tussen de 40 en 49 jaar oud: 324 cal.
tussen de 50 en 59 jaar oud: 972 cal.
boven de 60: minstens 2916 cal.
met toestemming: 12 cal.
zonder toestemming: 187 cal.
Uittrekken BH:
Met beide handen: 8 cal.
Met één hand: 12 cal.
Zonder handen: 85 cal.
Voorspel:
Zoektocht naar clitoris: 8 cal.
Zoektocht naar de G-spot: 92 cal.
Standjes:
69 liggend: 8 cal.
69 staand: 1112 cal.
Italian chandelier: 912 cal.
missionaris: 12 cal.
trolley: 216 cal.
Condoom omdoen:
tijdens erectie: 6 cal.
zonder erectie: 315 cal.
Het orgasme:
echt: 112 cal.
gefaked: 315 cal.
Naspel:
in bed blijven liggen: 18 cal.
uit bed springen: 36 cal.
uitleggen waarom je meteen uit bed springt: 816 cal.
Een tweede erectie krijgen:
tussen de 16 en 19 jaar oud: 12 cal.
tussen de 20 en 29 jaar oud: 36 cal.
tussen de 30 en 39 jaar oud: 108 cal.
tussen de 40 en 49 jaar oud: 324 cal.
tussen de 50 en 59 jaar oud: 972 cal.
boven de 60: minstens 2916 cal.
vrijdag 19 januari 2007 om 13:07
Recept voor bananentaart met eieren
Benodigheden:
2 lachende ogen
2 goed gevormde benen
2 stevige melkhouders
1 met pels bezette roerschotel
1 grote banaan (20 à 25 cm)
2 eieren
Baktijd:
1 uur
Hitte:
Naar believen
Bereiding:
Men kijkt in de lachende ogen.
Leg de goed gevormde benen uit elkaar en masseer de beide melkhouders licht en zacht tot de met pels bezette roerschotel goed gesmeerd is.
Af en toe met de middelvinger proberen of alles gaar is.
Dan de grote banaan mooi en langzaam inschuiven en aansluitend met de eieren bedekken.
De taart is gebakken als de banaan zacht is. De schotel na gebruik uitwassen of uitlikken.
Mocht de taart opkomen, dan raden wij u aan zich rap uit de voeten te maken!!!
Wij wensen u succes en smakelijk eten namens de kok.
Benodigheden:
2 lachende ogen
2 goed gevormde benen
2 stevige melkhouders
1 met pels bezette roerschotel
1 grote banaan (20 à 25 cm)
2 eieren
Baktijd:
1 uur
Hitte:
Naar believen
Bereiding:
Men kijkt in de lachende ogen.
Leg de goed gevormde benen uit elkaar en masseer de beide melkhouders licht en zacht tot de met pels bezette roerschotel goed gesmeerd is.
Af en toe met de middelvinger proberen of alles gaar is.
Dan de grote banaan mooi en langzaam inschuiven en aansluitend met de eieren bedekken.
De taart is gebakken als de banaan zacht is. De schotel na gebruik uitwassen of uitlikken.
Mocht de taart opkomen, dan raden wij u aan zich rap uit de voeten te maken!!!
Wij wensen u succes en smakelijk eten namens de kok.
donderdag 14 september 2006 om 15:16
The Guys' Rules
We always hear
"the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are
the rules
from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.
The End!
We always hear
"the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are
the rulesfrom the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports.
It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.
The End!