I'm 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
“You seen my cell phone?...What’s it look like? Like two horses fucking. It’s a phone, son. It looks like a phone."
"Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."
"I didn't say you were ugly. I said your girlfriend is better looking than you, and standing next to her, you look ugly."
"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist."
"Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a fucking parade every time i take a piss."