I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
>
>
>1.. I do physical labor.
>2.. I work at great depths.
>3.. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
>4.. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>5.. I work in a damp environment.
>6.. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
>7.. I work in high temperatures.
>8.. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
>
>Sincerely,
>P. Niss
>
>
>The Response:
>
>Dear Penis:
>
>After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
>raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
>
>You do not work 8 hours straight.
>You fall asleep after brief work periods.
>You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
>You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other
>locations.
>You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in
>order to start working.
>You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
>You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the
>correct protective clothing.
>You will retire well before you are 65.
>You are unable to work double shifts.
>You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the
>assigned task.
>
>And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
>exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
>
>Sincerely,
>V. Gina
reasons:
>
>
>1.. I do physical labor.
>2.. I work at great depths.
>3.. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
>4.. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
>5.. I work in a damp environment.
>6.. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
>7.. I work in high temperatures.
>8.. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
>
>Sincerely,
>P. Niss
>
>
>The Response:
>
>Dear Penis:
>
>After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
>raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:
>
>You do not work 8 hours straight.
>You fall asleep after brief work periods.
>You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
>You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
other
>locations.
>You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
in
>order to start working.
>You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
>You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the
>correct protective clothing.
>You will retire well before you are 65.
>You are unable to work double shifts.
>You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the
>assigned task.
>
>And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
>exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
>
>Sincerely,
>V. Gina













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