- He said: Want a quickie?
- She said: As opposed to what?

- He said: I don't know why you wear a bra;
you've got nothing to put in it.
- She said: You wear briefs, don't you?

- He said: Since I first laid eyes on you,
I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way
- She said: Well, you succeeded.

- He said: 'If you only could learn to make me a proper meal, then we could manage without the cook. And if you cleaned the house, we could fire the maid as well.'
- She said: Darling, if you only could learn to satisfy me properly we could do without the gardener too'

- He said: Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?
- She said: Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

- He said: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
- She said: I would, but you're never here.

- He said:
"Shall we try a different position tonight?"
- She said: "That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."