I can almost see it, that dream i'm dreamin but,
there's a voice inside my head sayin, you'll never reach
it. every step im takin every move i make feels lost with no direction,
my faith is shakin, but i, i gotta keep tryin i gotta keep my head held high
there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle and sometimes
im gonna have to lose it aint about how fast i get there
aint about whats waitin on the other side its the climb
the struggles im facing the chances
im taking sometimes might knock me down
but no im not breaking
i may not know it but these are the moments that im gonna remember most yeah
just gotta keep goin and i
i got be strong gotta keep on pushin on cuz
theres always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move
always gonna be an uphill battle sometimes
im gonna have to lose
aint about how fast i get there
aint about whats waitin on the other side its the climb
keep on movin keep climbin keep the faith babe
its all about its all about the climb keep the faith keep your faith
morphonis AKA metamorphosis
I feel a change within my heart,
A shifting of my spirit's shape.
What am I becoming, then?
This new destiny is unknown to me.
Masked in a crimson, coppery fog.
The fresh nature which I take on;
It's functions are foreign to me.
No part of my thought understands its philosophies.
No part of my soul recognizes its will.
No part of my heart shares its ideologies.
No part of my body feels its truths.
And this frightens me.
Understandably so, you must admit.
For what man wishes to become that which he cannot contemplate?
But five questions crawl about this mind I suffer;
Consuming all others to feed my fears,
Consuming all others to feed my nightmares.
How is this happening to me?
Why am I blinded so, thrashing about the night?
What am I becoming?
When will this metamorphosis be complete?
Where shall evolution lead me?
How is this happening to me?
Great changes sweep through my flesh,
Yet they have eluded my senses.
Yet they have eluded detection;
Yet they have eluded knowing.
Where once I was content,
My heart now finds itself restless.
Where once I was fulfilled,
My soul now finds itself empty.
Where once I was well-versed,
My mind now finds itself dull.
Where once I was in pain,
My body now finds itself released.
Where once I was decided,
My will now finds itself divided.
Where once I was most uncertain,
My will now finds itself rooted.
This is as though I was a caterpillar,
Wound in a chrysalis of love and passion.
As I slept, unaware of my transformation,
I changed.
Now I emerge, ignorant of what I am.
My thoughts have no words for this new form.
Lost now in thought, though,
My consciousness wonders.
Is it not fitting, this new form;
A new form for a new era?
Perhaps I should welcome this change,
Embrace it with open arms.
A new self to learn of, for a new start.
A clean slate to fill, for a new beginning.
Why am I blinded so, thrashing about in the night?
All at once, my senses fail;
All at once, my senses slip away from me in slumber.
I cannot see,
For these eyes are new.
I cannot feel,
For this skin still sleeps.
I cannot hear,
For the nature of these new ears is alien and elusive.
Can you see it, that diminutive twinge of Fear;
That fine scowl that blossoms upon my lips?
I am unaccustomed to this blackened vision.
After so long, cursed to see myself,
Suddenly I see all but!
This is not amusing.
My grace is lost,
I stumble through life blind and clumsy.
Everything I learned of the self;
Obsolete knowledge, incomplete understanding.
Buried even here, though, a blessing hides within the curse.
Jynnx of old knew himself,
And knew himself to be a beast, a monster, an evil.
Jynnx of now knows naught of himself.
A unique opportunity presents itself.
Here, I can forget myself, unlearn myself, within the tides of confusion.
Here, I can learn to discover what may be a "better" me.
What am I becoming?
For the first time in these memories of mine,
I question the idea that I can be a monster.
I question the monstrousness I have assumed of myself for so long.
Parts of my heart,
Once I thought decayed and gone,
Now seem to glint with untapped potential.
Things I thought I could never do,
Now I cannot stop.
My lungs breathe,
And taste fresh air for the first time in eras.
My heart beasts,
And surges with more love than I have ever felt.
My eyes open,
And I can suddenly see all the beauty in the world.
Unprepared to tumble with the blow of these unforeseen developments,
I fall over as concern strikes me.
Without warning, I care.
'Tis a queer sensation,
To have one's heart and mind flood with the purest form of love.
And I find myself addicted.
I find myself wishing for it to never end.
So drastically opposed to my past, is this unknown future.
But the feelings it resonates within me are without match;
These feelings dominate my person without rival or contest.
I love it.
When will this metamorphosis be complete?
How long must I suffer,
Before this unnerving transmutation will end?
How long must I watch, slowly,
As pieces of who I learned I am die;
Only to be replaced, piecemeal, by another me?
How long must I drown in this confusion,
Unsure if I am beast or man;
Unsure if I am here or there;
Unsure if I am monster or hero?
How long must I chase dreams of completion,
Seeking substance to consume within the smoke and shadows?
How long must I wait patiently,
Trusting unseen forces to mold my spirit;
Forces hailing from worlds I have never seen before.
How long must I seek a truth,
One I cannot have,
That has forsaken my essence?
Perhaps I see this all mistakenly.
Maybe I overthink this, over-complicate this.
Is it possible to resolve this conflict by leaving it be,
By simply living in it, for it, about it;
Rather than prowling after shades of nothing?
Where shall evolution lead me?
Pulled in all directions,
I can no longer see the future;
I can no longer see my path.
Fleetingly, I find myself believing.
I find myself investing faith,
In ideologies I once mocked.
Whimsically, I find myself embroiled in warfare.
I find myself happily raising arms once again,
For causes I never saw.
During all my life,
I tread a dark path within an even darker woods.
Shadows rushed around me from all sides,
Pressing in so tightly that I couldn't breathe.
Cold winds embraced me,
Freezing my heart and my soul with each chaotic gust;
Freezing the core of my very bones.
But I've suddenly broken free of these nightly chains.
My aimless wandering has finally seen me through to the other side.
A soft pain engulfs me as the brilliant rays of a thousand suns consume me,
A chill pleasure enraptures me at the sight of a thousand silver moons.
The muddy, bramble-infested path no longer holds me;
It no longer tears at my weary feet.
Wondrous gold and silver roads spread out before me,
Leading to every direction past the horizon.
Where do these paths lead,
I wonder in awe.
How many adventures await me,
I invision with glee.
Can I atone for the sins of my beast,
I fear, trembling.
This metamorphosis.
It has taken hold of me,
Wrenched out fistfuls of my rotten soul,
And left me, like a babe, in a starling world.
A wondrous world.
An alien world.
Yet I will choose a path to tread;
I will decide who and what I am.
I WILL PERSEVERE.
For, if anything of me has not altered,
This is it.
