Chuck Norris
Formerly an actor, producer and exponent of the martial arts, Chuck Norris is now a religion, an attitude and the most powerful man in the world. How come? Because facts don't lie.
Facts
Chuck Norris was born in a stable that he himself built with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris didn't have a normal birth. He fought his way out of the womb. A few seconds later, he'd grown a beard.
Chuck Norris never forgets. He can even remember tomorrow.
Chuck Norris can't breathe underwater. But he does it anyway.
Chamberlain claims to have slept with 20 000 women. For Chuck Norris, 20 000 women would be a below-average Tuesday.
Chuck Norris always drinks through a straw. He can't hold the glass because it would mean unclenching
his fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares at them until they tell him what he wants to know.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity – twice.
Chuck Norris once ate an entire cake before anyone could tell him about the stripper inside it.
Chuck Norris actually died ten years ago. However, death has yet to pluck up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris has touched a mermaid between the legs.
When Chuck Norris does press-ups, he doesn't push himself upwards. He pushes the world downwards.
When Chuck Norris fancies a salad, he eats a vegetarian.
Switzerland is only neutral because they don't know which side Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris can barbecue ice-cream.
Chuck Norris can press Ctrl+Alt+Del with one finger at the same time.
Chuck Norris can do breast-stroke backwards.
Chuck Norris has seen a hen's teeth.
Chuck Norris can compare apples and pears.
Chuck Norris can sort a batch of black pens according to their colour.
Chuck Norris can draw a square with just three lines.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Chuck Norris sets his sundial to winter time.
Chuck Norris has downloaded the entire internet.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees. | 
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