Partyflock
 
Forumonderwerp · 799759
­ Nederland

Onderwerp is gesloten!

Dit gebeurt meestal omdat een of meerdere personen het beleid hebben overtreden.
Het kan natuurlijk ook zijn dat er al een actieve discussie over hetzelfde onderwerp was.
Dit soort situaties zijn te voorkomen door op de hoogte te blijven van het beleid.

 
Artiest ZWEMLES
Plaats hier z.v.m. "je moeder" -grappen en word aanbeden door vele fans!

Ik trap wel af:

Je moeder is zo vies, dat als ze in bad wil gaan, springt het water er gewoon uit.

Je moeder is zo dik, ze strijkt haar broeken op de snelweg.

Je moeder is zo oud, dat toen ze vroeger op school zat ze geen geschiedenisles kreeg.

Je moeder is zo lelijk, dat alleen al als ze haar hoofd uit 't raam steekt wordt ze al gearresteerd.

Je moeder is zo dom, ze zit op de tv en kijkt naar de bank.
 
Je moeder aan de poeder
 
Uitspraak van verwijderd op woensdag 3 augustus 2005 om 15:00:
Je moeder dik, dat zelfs Bill Gates haar liposuctie niet kan betalen.

(y) :D

Uitspraak van verwijderd op woensdag 3 augustus 2005 om 14:54:
Je moeder is zo lelijk, dat ze bij haar hebben ingebroken om de gordijnen dicht te doen.

:D :D

Je moeder stinkt zo erg dat ze alleen maar kunstplanten in huis heeft.
 
Je moeder stinkt zo erg dat ze een rol kreeg aangeboden als rottend lijk in baantjer
laatste aanpassing
 
Je moeder is zo lelijk dat ze niet eens kans maakt bij blinden
 
Je moeder is zo dik, ze heeft onlangs haar nieuwe zaak geopend:

Burger Queen
laatste aanpassing
Hier hebbie er een aantal :

Yo' momma's so fat, she gets stuck in her dreams

Yo' momma's so fat, she uses the swimming pool as a toilet

Yo' momma's so fat, she uses a basketball as a hackey sack

Yo' momma's so fat, she keeps her extra change in one of her folds

Yo' momma's so fat, when yo' daddy makes love to her, he never makes love to the same fold twice

Yo' momma's so fat, NASA hauls her to the top of a tower, pushes her off, she falls 300 feet, hits a board and launches the space shuttle...

Yo' momma's so fat, she says her job title is Spoon and Fork Operator

Yo' momma's so fat, she put on a gray dress, and an admiral boarded her

Yo' momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up, and her height doesn't change

Yo' momma's so fat, she's taller lying down

Yo' momma's so fat, when she works at the theater, she works as the screen

Yo' momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first perpetual motion machine

Yo' momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down

Yo' momma's so fat, when I said I wanted 'pigs in a blanket', she got back in bed

Yo' momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her five YEARS to live

Yo' momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth

Yo' momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her

Yo' momma's so fat, she could sell shade

Yo' momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

Yo' momma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her

Yo' momma's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin

Yo' momma's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost

Yo' momma's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her

Yo' momma's so fat, her *ss has its own congressman

Yo' momma's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on

Yo' momma's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop

Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to the circus, she sees the big top and asks, Where can I try that on?

Yo' momma's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said, Sorry, we don't do curtains

Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to the circus, she takes up all the rings

Yo' momma's so fat, Place Your Ad Here is printed on each of her butt cheeks

Yo' momma's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg

Yo' momma's so fat, when she leaves the beach, everybody shouts, The coast is clear

Yo' momma's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics

Yo' momma's so fat, she went on a light diet...as soon as it's light, she starts eating

Yo' momma's so fat, she went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food, she ate it

Yo' momma's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time

Yo' momma's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half French

Yo' momma's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my *ss on the light bulb

Yo' momma's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party

Yo' momma's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion

Yo' momma' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit

Yo' momma's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat

Yo' momma's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet

Yo' momma's so fat, when she comes down the stairs, she measures on the Richter scale

Yo' momma's so fat, when she walks down the street, everyone yells Earthquake

Yo' momma's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool

Yo' momma's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she FILLS UP the tub

Yo' momma's so fat, they're going to use her to fill that hole in the ozone layer

Yo' momma's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids

Yo' momma's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks

Yo' momma's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other If you let me by, I'll let you pass

Yo' momma's so fat, she jumped in the ocean, and the whales started singing, We are family

Yo' momma's so fat, she plays pool with the planets

Yo' momma's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms

Yo' momma's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show

Yo' momma's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think it's the school bus

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater, people call her Barney

Yo' momma is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs cover her feet like a blanket

Yo' momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan

Yo' momma's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling

Yo' momma's so fat, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling

Yo' momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic

Yo' momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought she was American Airlines' biggest jet

Yo' momma's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet

Yo' momma's so fat, she was lifting up her rolls, and a car fell out

Yo' momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill three cows just to make her a pair of shoes

Yo' momma's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation

Yo' momma's so fat, she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step

Yo' momma's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts

Yo' momma's so fat, her belly-button's got an echo

Yo' momma's got so many rings around her belly, she screws her underwear on

Yo' momma's so fat, she roller skates on busses

Yo' momma's so fat, she uses bowling balls for earrings

Yo' momma lost at hide n' seek when I spotted her behind the Himalayas

Yo' momma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps

Yo' momma's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up

Yo' momma's so fat, she has to use a VCR as a beeper

Yo' momma's so fat, she has a refrigerator strapped to her waist, and it looks like a pager

Yo' momma's so fat, her nickname is DAMN

Yo' momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise

Yo' momma's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

Yo' momma's so fat, I have to take a plane, a train, and an automobile just to get on her good side

Yo' momma's so fat, when you get on top of her, your ears pop

Yo' momma's so fat, when she has sex, she has to give directions

Yo' momma's so fat, yo' daddy's idea of foreplay is setting up the on-ramps

Yo' momma's so fat, you haveta roll over twice to get off her

Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

Yo' momma's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, Okay

Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she orders everything on the menu, including Thank You, Come Again

Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps

Yo' momma's so fat, the sign outside one restaurant says 'Maximum occupancy, 512, or YO' MOMMA

' Yo' momma's so fat, when she wore a yellow raincoat, people said, Taxi

Yo' momma's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon

Yo' momma's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a sign that said, Caution

Wide Turn

Yo' momma's so fat, when she stands in a left-turn lane, it gives her the green arrow

Yo' momma's so fat, we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet

Yo' momma's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back

Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER

Yo' momma's so fat, when Scorpion did the harpoon throw on her, he got arrested for whaling

Yo' momma's so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in

Yo' momma's so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in

Yo' momma's so fat, when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

Yo' momma's so fat, her shoes have to have license plates

Yo' momma's so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo' momma's so fat, when she went to Sea World, she came out with a paycheck

Yo' momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo' momma's so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping

Yo' momma's so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground

Yo' momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house

Yo' momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it

Yo' momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale

Yo' momma's so fat, when she gets on the scale, it says, We don't do livestock

Yo' momma's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said, Please step out of the car

Yo' momma's so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... Yo' momma's so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

Yo' momma's so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk - white and chunky

Yo' momma's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and it made a dollar

Yo' momma's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

Yo' momma's so fat, her senior pictures had to be aerial views

Yo' momma's so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

Yo' momma's so fat, she left the house in high heels and when she came back, she had on flip flops

Yo' momma's so fat, when she hauls *ss, she has to make two trips

Yo' momma's so fat, when she hauls *ss, she has friends come help

Yo' momma's so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks

Yo' momma's so fat, she has a wooden leg with a kick stand

Yo' momma's so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out

Yo' momma's so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo' momma's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again

Yo' momma's so fat, when she dances at a concert, the whole band skips

Yo' momma's so fat, when she runs, she makes the CD player skip...at the radio station

Yo' momma's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs

Yo' momma's so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo' momma's so fat, she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist, they spelled out boulevard

Yo' momma's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's

Yo' momma's so fat, she has her own brand of jeans: FA - Fat *ss Jeans

Yo' momma's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans, I swear I smelled something burning

Yo' momma's so fat, she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

Yo' momma's so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it

Yo' momma's so fat, when she got hit by a bus, she said, Who threw that rock? Yo' momma's so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks

Yo' momma's so fat, they had to let out the shower curtain

Yo' momma's so fat, she's got shock absorbers on her toilet seat

Yo' momma's so fat, her picture fell off the wall

Yo' momma's so fat, she don't have cellulite, she has celluHEAVY

Yo' momma's so fat, she eats Wheat *Thicks*

Yo' momma's so fat, when she sweats, people wear raincoats around her

Yo' momma's so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her I.Q.

Yo' momma's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing HER peanuts

Yo' momma's so fat, it say on her driver's license Picture continued on back. Yo' momma's so fat, NASA orbits a satellite around her

Yo' momma's so fat, people use her dandruff as quilts

Yo' momma's so fat, she runs on diesel

Yo' momma's so fat, she thinks a balanced meal is a ham in each hand

Yo' momma's so fat, she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship

Yo' momma's so fat, she won Miss Bessie the Cow, 96

Yo' momma's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs

Yo' momma's so fat, the Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her

Yo' momma's so fat, to her, 'light food' means under four tons

Yo' momma's so fat, when she's in a jacuzzi, she makes her own gravy

Yo' momma's so fat, cars run out of gas before passing her fat *ss

Yo' momma's so fat, her doctor's a grounds keeper

Yo' momma's so fat, McDonald's has to change their sign every time she eats there

Yo' momma's so fat, she can smell bacon frying in Canada

Yo' momma's so fat, she got hit by a car and the car sued for damages

Yo' momma's so fat, she had her ears pierced with a harpoon

Yo' momma's so fat, she wears a microwave for a beeper

Yo' momma's so fat, she wears pillow cases for socks and hula hoops to hold them up

Yo' momma's so fat, she went to the salad bar and pulled up a chair

Yo' momma's so fat, when she sits on a chair, she makes paper

Yo' momma's so fat, Neil Armstrong landed on her in 1969

Yo' momma's so fat, she has to be fed by slingshot

Yo' momma's so fat, she walked in front of the TV, and I missed three commercials

Yo' momma's so fat, the shadow of her *ss weighs 50 pounds

Yo' momma's so fat, her butt looks like two pigs fighting over a Hershey Kiss

Yo' momma's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets

Yo' momma's so fat, her navel gets home 15 minutes before she does

Yo' momma's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance

Yo' momma's so fat, if she was a super hero, she would be the Incredible Bulk

Yo' momma's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones, she got the part as the big rolling ball

Yo' momma's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose

Yo' momma's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears a red dress in the summer, kids run after her yelling, Kool Aid

Kool Aid

Yo' momma's so fat, when I yell Kool-Aid, she comes crashing through the wall

Yo' momma's so fat, she has to sleep in the barn with the rest of the cows

Yo' momma's so fat, when she talks to herself, it's a long distance call

Yo' momma's so fat, if she put her hand on her hip, she would look like a gallon of milk

Yo' momma's so fat, when she stood in front of the HOLLYWOOD letters we thought we were in the hood (HO*****OD)

Yo' momma's so fat, she's got a zit on her butt that's known as Mt. St. Helen

Yo' momma's so fat, she uses the freeway as a slip 'n slide

Yo' momma's so fat, when she needs a shower, she goes to a car wash

Yo' momma's so fat, when she starts a marathon, she's already at the finish line

Yo' momma's so fat, she pays taxes in three countries

Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears a yellow shirt, people wear sunglasses

Yo' momma's so fat, she needs to use a boomerang to scratch her fat *ss

Yo' momma's so fat, she gets her dresses made by Barnum and Bailey

Yo' momma's so fat, when she last went to church, nobody would leave until she sang

Yo' momma's so fat, her nickname is the Badyear Blimp

Yo' momma's so fat, she was standing at a corner and the cops came over and said, Hey

Break it up

Yo' momma's so fat, I kept trying to leave her, but I couldn't escape her gravitational pull

Yo' momma's so fat, she has her own asteroid belt

Yo' momma's so fat, she can kick start a 747

Yo' momma's so fat, if she was two feet taller, she'd be spherical

Yo' momma's so fat, she was kidnapped by a cannibal tribe, and they all died of cholesterol

Yo' momma's so fat, she got a ticket for going the wrong way down a one way street when she was walking

Yo' momma's so fat, she doesn't sit, she spreads

Yo' momma's so fat, she was born on the 4th, 5th and 6th of March

Yo' momma's so fat, she was stopped by police dogs at the airport for having 300 lbs of crack under her dress

Yo' momma's so fat, she lives in two time zones - supper time and dinner time

Yo' momma's so fat, in school when she stood up and turned around, she would erase all the black-boards in the room

Yo' momma's so fat, it took God one day to create the earth and five days to create yo' momma

Yo' momma's so fat, the local police hired her to be a roadblock

Yo' momma's so fat, she bumps into people even when she's sitting down

Yo' momma's so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters

Yo' momma is so fat, when she walks down the street in a green dress, everybody yells, Run for your lives

It's GODZILLA

Yo' momma's so fat, when she sings, it's over

Yo' momma's so fat, they use her underwear for the screen at the movies

Yo' momma's so fat, she hula-hooped the super bowl

Yo' momma's so fat, to her, light food means under four tons

Yo' momma's so fat, the Himalayas are practice runs to prepare for her

Yo' momma's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off

Yo' momma's so fat, Thanksgiving Day, she ate dinner for six hours, then said, I am going to walk this meal off. I said, Call me when you get to Brazil

Yo' momma's so fat, she has to wear a hat with a blinking red light to scare off the airplanes

Yo' momma's so fat, if she wears fish-net stockings, they'd better be fifty pound test

Yo' momma's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-g*d-it's-coming-towards-us

Yo' momma's so fat, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly, they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway

Yo' momma's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell

Yo' momma's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes - she has to wear Boss Hoggs

Yo' momma's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than Thomas' English Muffin

Yo' momma's so fat, she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big

Yo' momma's so fat, she's 36-24-36...but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh

Yo' momma's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came and said, Break it up

Yo' momma's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out

Yo' momma's so fat, she has to buy two plane tickets, and she doesn't even notice the armrest

Yo' momma's so fat, when she lays down, stunt men try to jump over her

Yo' momma's brain is so small, if I took it and rolled it down the edge of a razor blade, it would be like a lone car going down a six lane highway

Yo' momma's brain is so small, if you stuffed it up an ant's butt, it would still rattle like a BB in a tin can

Yo' momma's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose

Yo' momma's so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20

Yo' momma's so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say 'Go'

Yo' momma's so stupid, she gave birth to you

Yo' momma's so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window

Yo' momma's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco

Yo' momma's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage

Yo' momma's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk

Yo' momma's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said, Cherry or grape?

Yo' momma's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer

Yo' momma's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said Dodge Trucks and she started ducking through traffic

Yo' momma's so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said Will eat for food

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Thailand is a men's clothing store

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Sherlock Holmes was a housing project

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Delta Airlines is a sorority

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Christmas wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks a stereotype is a clock-radio brand

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks the Internet is something you catch fish with

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks a lawsuit is something you wear to court

Yo' momma's so stupid, when the judge said, Order in the court, she said, I'll have a hamburger and a Coke

Yo' momma's so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had

Yo' momma's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it

Yo' momma's so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps

Yo' momma's so stupid, when she worked at McDonald's and someone ordered small fries, she said, Hey Boss, all the small ones are gone

Yo' momma's so stupid, if brains were gas, she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Fruit Loop

Yo' momma's so stupid, when they said they were playing craps, she went and got toilet paper

Yo' momma's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses

Yo' momma's so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles, she bought him new ones

Yo' momma's so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a car pool

Yo' momma's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed

Yo' momma's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed

Yo' momma's so stupid, she tried to drop acid, but the car battery fell on her foot

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got shot running for the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial

Yo' momma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her Nehi peach drink

Yo' momma's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble

Yo' momma's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done

Yo' momma's so stupid, it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo' momma's so stupid, when she saw the NC-17 sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo' momma's so stupid, when yo' daddy said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo' momma's so stupid, she told everyone that she was illegitiment because she couldn't read

Yo' momma's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved

Yo' momma's so stupid, she sold her car for gasoline money

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks a quarterback is a refund

Yo' momma's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

Yo' momma's so stupid, she stole free bread

Yo' momma's so stupid, she took a spoon to the superbowl

Yo' momma's so stupid, she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonald's

Yo' momma's so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch

Yo' momma's so stupid, she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain

Yo' momma's so stupid that under Education on her job application, she put Hooked on Phonics

Yo' momma's so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating yo' house

Yo' momma's so stupid, she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes

Yo' momma's so stupid, they had to burn down the school to get her out of second grade

Yo' momma's so stupid, she bought a Clapper, and she only has one hand

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car

Yo' momma's so stupid, she mates out of season

Yo' momma's so stupid, her brain cells are on the endangered species list

Yo' momma's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the cops she got mugged

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks a hot meal is stolen food

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought the Nazis were saying Hi, Hitler

Yo' momma's so stupid, when she tried to commit suicide, she jumped off the curb

Yo' momma's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut

Yo' momma's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu

Yo' momma's so stupid, she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel

Yo' momma's so stupid, when she saw a sign that said Wet floor, she did

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks a triple is for extreme alcoholics

Yo' momma's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone

Yo' momma's so stupid, someone yells hoe-down, she hits the deck

Yo' momma's so stupid, if you give her a penny for her intelligence, you'll get change back

Yo' momma's so stupid, she took you to the airport the sign said, 'Airport left', so she turned around and went home

Yo' momma's so stupid, on an application it said, Don't write here, and she wrote, Why? Yo' momma's so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line, she put O.K. Yo' momma's so stupid, when she was filling out a job application, when she saw sign here, she put Scorpio

Yo' momma's so stupid, she saw Jesus walk on water and said, It's gotta be the shoes

Yo' momma's so stupid, when asked on an application, Sex?, she marked, M, F and sometimes weekends too

Yo' momma's so stupid, she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said, Guess, so she said Levi's

Yo' momma's so stupid, she called information to get the number for 411 ... and when the operator said Hold one minute, she counted to 60 and hung up





Yo' momma's so stupid, she took toilet paper to a craps game

Yo' momma's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store

Yo' momma's so stupid, when you were born she looked at the umbilical cord and said, Hey, everybody - he comes with cable

Yo' momma's so stupid, she went to catch the 44 bus but caught the 22 twice instead

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on her tape deck

Yo' momma's so stupid, if her I.Q. was any lower, she'd trip over it

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks MCI is a rapper

Yo' momma's so stupid, she had your brother thrown in rehab. 'cause he was Hooked on Phonics

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks it's the ice cubes that keeps the fridge cold

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought gangrene was another golf course

Yo' momma's so stupid, it take her a month to get rid of the seven day itch

Yo' momma's so stupid, she went to Alpha Beta and asked to buy a vowel

Yo' momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob cause he said it would help with his unemployment

Yo' momma's so stupid, she called the cocaine hotline to order some

Yo' momma's so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thinks manual labor is a Mexican

Yo' momma's so stupid, she has one toe and bought a pair of flip flops

Yo' momma's so stupid, on her job application where it says 'emergency contact', she put '911'

Yo' momma's so stupid, she said what's that letter after x, I said, 'Y'; she said, 'Cause I wanna know

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought Hamburger Helper came with another person

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats

Yo' momma's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood

Yo' momma's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod

Yo' momma's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since

Yo' momma's so stupid, when she counts to ten she get stuck at 11

Yo' momma's so stupid, when you were born, she looked at the umbilical cord and said, Whoa

This thing comes wit cable

Yo' momma's so ugly, she looks like you

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks

Yo' momma's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her

Yo' momma's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out

Yo' momma's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it

Yo' momma's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation

Yo' momma's so ugly, people at the circus pay money NOT to see her

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down

Yo' momma's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness

Yo' momma's so ugly, yo' daddy tosses the ugly stick, and she fetches it every time

Yo' momma's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks

Yo' momma's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the b*tch biscuits

Yo' momma's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said, Damn, how'd you get out so fast

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border

Yo' momma's so ugly, I heard that yo' daddy first met her at the pound

Yo' momma's so ugly, I can have sex with her in any position and it's still doggy style

Yo' momma's so ugly, she entered a dog show and won

Yo' momma's so ugly, her doctor is a vet

Yo' momma's so ugly, if ugly were bricks, she'd be a high rise

Yo' momma's so ugly, if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team

Yo' momma's so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares

Yo' momma's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her

When yo' momma was born they had to take her out of the trash can, 'cause the doctor said, Throw this shit away

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born, they tinted the windows of her incubator

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap

Yo' momma's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her mother

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked everyone

Yo' momma's so ugly, they threw her away and kept the afterbirth

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor took her and told her mother, If this doesn't start to cry in ten seconds, it was a tumor

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born the Doctor looked at her ass and her face and said: My God, Siamese twins

Yo' momma's so ugly, just after her birth, her mother saw the afterbirth and said, Twins

Yo' momma's so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, What a treasure, and her father said, Yeah, let's go bury it

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was born, GOD admitted that even HE could make a mistake

Yo' momma's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo' momma's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said Sorry, no professionals

Yo' momma's so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning

Yo' momma's so ugly, they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower

Yo' momma's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she walks down the street in September, people say, It's Halloween already?

Yo' momma's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes ON in strip joints

Yo' momma's so ugly, when they took her to the beautician, it took twelve hours...for a quote

Yo' momma's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her

Yo' momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone

Yo' momma's so ugly, she scares the roaches away

Yo' momma's so ugly, yo' daddy takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye

If my dog had a face as ugly as Yo' momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards

Yo' momma's so ugly, her face looks like a blind cobbler's thumb

Yo' momma's so ugly, her face is like the south end of a north-bound camel

Yo' momma's so ugly, Dairy Queen won't even treat her right

Yo' momma's so ugly, she's like 7-UP...never had it, never will

Yo' momma's so ugly, she could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck

Yo' momma's so ugly, she had to wear two bags over her head in case one breaks

Yo' momma's so ugly, she's only had one successful job - being a scarecrow

Yo' momma's so ugly, she just got a job at the airport - sniffing for drugs

Yo' momma's so ugly, she makes *YOU* look good

Yo' momma's so ugly, her psychiatrist makes her lie face down

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she goes to the beach, the tide won't come in

Yo' momma's so ugly, the tide won't even take her out

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she went to jump in a lake, the lake jumped back

Yo' momma's so ugly, her momma had to feed her with a sling shot

Yo' momma's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on

Yo' momma's so ugly, peeping toms break into her house and CLOSE the blinds

Yo' momma's so ugly, she has little round marks all over her body from people touching her with 10-foot poles

Yo' momma is so ugly, her face could stop a sun dial

Yo' momma's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies

Yo' momma's so ugly, they didn't make her wear a costume when she tried out for Star Wars

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she walked into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck

Yo' momma's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends

Yo' momma's so ugly, she has to trick-or-treat over the phone

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down

Yo' momma's so ugly, two guys broke into her apt., she yelled rape, and they yelled NO

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her

Yo' momma's so ugly, cockroaches go like this: HI, MOM

Yo' momma's so ugly, she frightened away both the beauty and the beast

Yo' momma's so ugly, she strips wall paper from walls for a living

Yo' momma's so ugly, she dated Jabba the Hut and HE was the looker

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she was a baby, her parents had a little yellow sign in their car window that read, THING ON BOARD

Yo' momma's so ugly, she's like Taco Bell - when people see her, they run for the border

Yo' momma's so ugly, she scares people even with the lights out

Yo' momma's so ugly, it looks like her neck threw up

Yo' momma is so ugly, her face is registered as a biological weapon

Yo' momma's so ugly, the NHL banned her for life

Yo' momma's so ugly, your dad's breath smells like sh*t because he would rather kiss her ass

Yo' momma's so ugly, she'd make a freight train take a dirt road

Yo' momma's so ugly, it looks like her face caught fire and they put it out with an ice pick

Yo' momma's so ugly, her mother used to put rubber bands on her ears so people would think the girl was wearing a mask

Yo' momma's so ugly, she wasn't beaten with an ugly stick...the whole forest fell on her

Yo' momma's so ugly, she's the cover girl for iodine

Yo' momma's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her



Yo' momma's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends

Yo' momma's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel

Yo' momma's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare its hump off

Yo' momma's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train

Yo' momma's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty

Yo' momma's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom, the toilet flushes

Yo' momma's so ugly, she's was a three bagger: 1 for her head, 1 for yours in case hers fell off, and 1 by the door in case anyone walked in

Yo' momma's so ugly, she has to get her vibrator drunk first

Yo' momma's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license

Yo' momma's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment

Yo' momma's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her

Yo' momma's so old, when she was young, rainbows were black and white

Yo' momma's so old, her memory is in black and white

Yo' momma's so old, she has an autographed Bible

Yo' momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake

Yo' momma's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick

Yo' momma's so old, her social security number is 1

Yo' momma's so old, her birth certificate says expired on it

Yo' momma's so old, she farts dust

Yo' momma's so old, when I told her to act her age, she died

Yo' momma's so old and fat that when God said Let there be light, He told her to move her fat ass

Yo' momma's so old, George Burns calls her Grandma

Yo' momma's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp

Yo' momma's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince

Yo' momma's so old, she's blind from the big bang

Yo' momma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories

Yo' momma's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook

Yo' momma's so old, when Moses split the Red Sea, she was on the other side fishing

Yo' momma's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block

Yo' momma's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel

Yo' momma's so old, she used to babysit Jesus

Yo' momma's so old, her birthday's expired

Yo' momma's so poor, even her BOSS pants are unemployed

Yo' momma's so poor, she has to take the trash IN

Yo' momma's so poor, I went to her house and took down some cobwebs, and she said, Who's tearing down the drapes?

Yo' momma's so poor, when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing; she said, Remodeling

Yo' momma's so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked what she was doing, and she said Moving

Yo' momma was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, What ya doin'? She said, Buying luggage

Yo' momma's so poor, I came over for dinner and saw three beans on the table; I took one, and she said Don't be greedy

Yo' momma's so poor, when I stepped on her door mat, she said, Hey, you can't go upstairs

Yo' momma's so poor, I stepped on her skateboard and she said, Hey, get off the car

Yo' momma's so poor, I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and she said, Who turned off the lights?

Yo' momma's so poor, I went into her house and flushed a cockroach down the toilet and she said, Hey, where'd Grandma go?

Yo' momma's so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said, Third tree to your right

Yo' momma's so poor, after I p*ssed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn

Yo' momma's so poor, when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said Spaghetti

Yo' momma's so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp

Yo' momma's so poor, when she heard about the last supper, she thought she had run out of food stamps

Yo' momma's so poor, she got arrested for breaking the gum-ball machine because it didn't take food stamps

Yo' momma's so poor, she puts food stamps in your penny loafers

Yo' momma's so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says DING

Yo' momma's so poor, when I ring the doorbell, I hear the toilet flush

Yo' momma's so poor, when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers

Yo' momma's so poor, she went to McDonald's and had to put her french fries on lay-a-way

Yo' momma's so poor, she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning

Yo' momma's so poor, burglars break in her house and leave money

Yo' momma's so poor, she married young just to get the rice

Yo' momma's so poor, the Somalians are sending HER food

Yo' momma's so poor, I stepped on a cigarette and she yelled, Who turned off the heat?

Yo' momma's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention

Yo' momma's so po', she can't even afford the or

Yo' momma's so poor, she wipes with both sides of the toilet paper

Yo' momma's so poor, the only time she's smelled hot food was when a rich man farted

Yo' momma's so poor, yo' TV's got two channels: on and off

Yo' momma's so poor, when yo' family watches TV, they go to Sears

Yo' momma's so poor, when she wrote a check, the whole bank bounced

Yo' momma's so dark, she went to night school and was marked absent

Yo' momma's so dark, she leaves fingerprints on charcoal

Yo' momma's so dark, a piece of coal makes a white mark on her

Yo' momma's so dark, she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers

Yo' momma's so dark, they die bowling balls in her bath water

Yo' momma's so dark, when she sits in a hot tub, she makes tea

Yo' momma's so dark, if she sat in a jacuzzi, the water would turn into coffee

Yo' momma's so dark, she drinks water and pees coffee

Yo' momma's so dark, the police shot at her, and the bullets came back for flashlights

Yo' momma's so dark, when she gets out of the car, the oil light comes on

Yo' momma's so fat 'n dark, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill

Yo' momma's so dark, when people refer to darkness coming in the future, they refer to her next visit

Yo' momma's so dark, they made a movie of her heart transplant called From the darkest heart of Africa

Yo' momma's so dark, she bleeds smoke

Yo' momma's so dark, that lightening bugs follow her in the daytime

Yo' momma's so dark, when she puts lotion on her legs, it looks like she has on leather pants

Yo' momma's so dark, if they put her in a bottle, she'd be a Pepsi

Yo' family's so dark, when they hold hands, they look like a stretch limo

Yo' momma's so black, she goes to a funeral naked, and no one notices

Yo' momma's so fat and black, when she goes skydiving she turns day into night

Yo' momma's so short, she has to cuff her underwear

Yo' momma's so short, she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet

Yo' momma's so short, she broke her leg jumping off the toilet

Yo' momma's so short, she jumps off curbs, saying, Wheeee

Yo' momma's so short, her best friend is an ant

Yo' momma's so short, her homies are the Keebler Elves

Yo' momma's so short, she doesn't have legs, she has feet growing out her ass

Yo' momma's so short, she tried to commit suicide with a pin

Yo' momma's so short, she's afraid to get off the carpet alone

Yo' momma's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license

Yo' momma's so short, she poses for trophies

Yo' momma's so short, she does back-flips under the bed

Yo' momma's so short, she has to look down to look up

Yo' momma's so short, she needs a ladder to pick up a dime

Yo' momma's so small, she can sit on a dime and swing her legs

Yo' momma's so short, she pole vaults with a toothpick

Yo' momma's so short, she can bungee-jump off a curb

Yo' momma's so short, she has to slam-dunk her change on the bus

Yo' momma's so nasty, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back

Yo' momma's so nasty, she uses her dirty clothes as a weapon

Yo' momma's so nasty, she has to creep up on bath water

Yo' momma's so nasty, the government uses her bath water for chemical weapons

Yo' momma's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10,000 miles

Yo' momma's so nasty, I called her for phone sex, and she gave me an ear infection

Yo' momma's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer, and she gave me a virus

Yo' momma's so nasty, while you were being delivered, the doctor was wearing an oxygen mask

Yo' momma's so nasty, every time she opens her mouth, she's talking shit

Yo' momma reminds me of a toilet: short, white, and smells like sh*t

I saved Yo' momma's life today...I killed a sh*t-eating dog on the way over

Yo' momma's so nasty, she brings crabs to the beach

Yo' momma's so nasty, she gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh

Yo' momma's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down

Yo' momma's so nasty, she made Ben Gay go straight

Yo' momma's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left

Yo' momma's so nasty, she made Right Guard call for backup

Yo' momma's so nasty, even the fishery paid her to leave

Yo' momma's so nasty, Ozzie Osbourne refused to bite her head off

Yo' momma's so nasty, the Nat'l Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts

Yo' momma's so nasty, skunks run from her

Yo' momma's so nasty, a skunk smelled her *ss and passed out

Yo' momma's so nasty, she makes onions cry

Yo' momma's so nasty, she went swimming, and now we have the Dead Sea

Yo' momma's so nasty, she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease

Yo' momma's so nasty, she's like Shaq - she don't fake the funk

Yo' momma's drawers are so nasty, the roaches check in, but they don't check out

Yo' momma's so nasty, flies land on her picture

Yo' momma's so nasty, she has to use Black Flag for a deodorant

Yo' momma's so nasty, lice visit her on their vacations

Yo' momma's so nasty, not even flies would go near her

Yo' momma's so nasty, she uses Drain-o to douche

Yo' momma's so hairy, when she went to a salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair, and she opened up her shirt

Yo' momma's so hairy, she wears a Nike tag on her weave, so now everyone calls her Hair Jordan

Yo' momma's so hairy, she's got afros on her breasts

Yo' momma's so hairy, she braids her hair - on her upper lip

Yo' momma ain't so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back

Yo' momma's so hairy, she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro

Yo' momma's so hairy, she looks like a Chia Pet with a sweater on

Yo' momma's so hairy, she shaves with a weed whacker

Yo' momma's so hairy, she uses a lawn mower to shave her armpits

Yo' momma's so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a head-lock

Yo' momma's so hairy, Bigfoot took a picture of her

Yo' momma's so hairy, she doesn't have a bikini line - she has a bikini book

Yo' momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth

Yo' momma's legs are so hairy, if she had fur coat and a banana, they'd stick her back in the zoo

Yo' momma's so hairy, when she goes to the circus, the bearded lady protests against non-union workers

Yo' momma's so hairy, she was a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars

Yo' momma's so hairy, she got a trim and lost ten pounds

Yo' momma's so hairy, if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men

Yo' momma's so hairy, she beats her chest after sex

Yo' momma's so greasy, her freckles slipped off

Yo' momma's so greasy, she used bacon as a band-aid

Yo' momma's so greasy, Texaco buys oil from her

Yo' momma's so greasy, when she jumps in the ocean, she leaves a ring around the shore

Yo' momma's so greasy, when she cooks, she rubs the pan with her hair

Yo' momma's so greasy, when she slid into second, her butt ended up in Detriot

Yo' momma's so greasy, she sweats Crisco

Yo' momma's so skinny, I could blind-fold her with dental floss

Yo' momma's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet

Yo' momma's so skinny, when she lets the water out of the bathtub, her toes get caught in the drain

Yo' momma's so skinny, she has to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow

Yo' momma's so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent

Yo' momma's so skinny, she uses Chapstick for deodorant

Yo' momma's so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio

Yo' momma's so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio

Yo' momma's so skinny, she has to wear a belt with spandex

Yo' momma's so skinny, when she wears a red dress, people think she's a thermometer

Yo' momma's so skinny, when she swallowed a marble, I thought she was nine months pregnant

Yo' momma's so skinny, she uses a tie for a blanket

Yo' momma's so skinny, she has to make knots in her panty hose so that her knees can be seen

Yo' momma's so skinny, I gave her a piece of popcorn and she went into a coma

Yo' momma's so skinny, if she had dreads, I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor

Yo' momma's butt is so bony, she put her drawers on and cut them in two

Yo' momma's so skinny, she got a run in her hose and she fell out

Yo' momma's got eyes in her butt, talking about D*mn, did you see that sh*t?

Yo' momma ain't got no fingers, talking about how she's pressing charges

Yo' momma's got no left eye, and she's talkin' 'bout Make this left

Yo' momma's got one leg, talkin' 'bout Ain't no half steppin'

Yo' momma's got three fingers, talkin' 'bout Gimme five

Yo' momma ain't got no arms, talkin' 'bout I'm hangin' in there

Yo' momma ain't got no eyes, talkin' 'bout I see what you mean

Yo' momma ain't got no ears, talkin' 'bout I hear ya

Yo' momma ain't got no legs, talkin' 'bout how she's gonna run for president

Yo' momma ain't got no legs, talkin' 'bout how she's running things

Yo' momma's got no fingers talking 'bout wanting to be with the Pointer sisters

Yo' momma's got no legs and always talking about how she kicks ass

Yo' momma has one leg and says I'll kick yo' ass

Yo' momma's got one ear, talking 'bout she wants to hear both sides of the story

Yo' momma sits in a wheelchair and says I ain't gonna stand for this

Yo' momma has no neck and says I'm the head of this family

Yo' momma has an afro with a chin strap

Yo' momma has a wooden afro with an 'X' carved in the back

Yo' momma got a metal afro with rusty sideburns

Yo' momma has a `fro with landing lights

Yo' momma got two wooden legs and one is on backward

Yo' momma got a wooden leg with a real foot

Yo' momma's got a wooden leg with a kick stand and has to nail her stockings up

Yo' momma got a wooden leg with branches

Yo' momma has green hair and thinks she's a tree

Yo' momma got a bald head with a part and sideburns

Yo' momma has a glass eye with a fish in it

Yo' momma got so many teeth missing it looks like her tongue is in jail

Yo' momma has ten fingers - all on the same hand

Yo' momma has four eyes and two pairs of sunglasses

Yo' momma got three teeth...one in her mouth and two in her pocket

Yo' momma's got one leg longer than other and they call her call her 'hip hop'

Yo' momma's got one toe and one knee and they call her 'Tony'

Yo' momma's got three toes and three knees and they call her 'Toni Tone Tony'

Yo' momma's got one leg and people call her 'Ilene'

Yo' momma's got one eye, one leg, one arm and one knee and they call her 'Uno'

Yo' momma has one arm and when she fights, the announcer says, She throws a right, a right, and another right

Yo' momma's has no ears... I seen her trying on sunglasses...

Yo' momma's got a four dollar weave and don't know when to leave

Yo' momma's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator

Yo' momma's got more weave than a dog in traffic

Yo' momma's got snake skin teeth

Yo' momma has a short leg and walks in circles

Yo' momma's hair is so short, when she braided it, they looked like stitches

Yo' momma's hair is so short, she curls it with rice

Yo' momma's hair is so nappy, she has to take Tylenol just to comb it

Yo' momma's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it

Yo' momma's hair is so nappy, her comb had to get dentures

Yo' momma's hair is so nappy, when she combs her hair, her teeth bleed

Yo' momma's hair has so much mousse in it, it could deflect bullets

Yo' momma's so bald, even a wig wouldn't help

Yo' momma's so bald, you can see what's on her mind

Yo' momma's so bald, I can read her mind

Yo' momma's so bald, she took a shower and got brainwashed

Yo' momma's so bald, when she puts on a turtle neck, she looks like a roll on deodorant

Yo' momma's so bald, when she goes to sleep, her head keeps slipping off the pillow

Yo' momma's head is so small, she use a tea-bag as a pillow

Yo' momma's head is so small, she got her ear pierced and died

Yo' momma's head is so small, she could wear fruit loops as head rags

Yo' momma's head is so big, it shows up on radar

Yo' momma's head is so big she has to step into her shirts

Yo' momma's head is so big, she has to wash her hair at Niagra Falls

Yo' momma's forehead's so big, you could show slides on it

Yo' momma's ears are so big, she drives the freeways by sonar

Yo' momma's ears are so big, she can hear sign language

Yo' momma's ears are so big, she can hear what I'm thinking

Yo' momma has so much wax in her ears, I stuck a Q-Tip in and pulled out a crayon

Yo' momma's lips are so big, ChapStick had to invent a spray

Yo' momma's lips are so big, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo' momma's lips are so big, when she smiles, her hair gets wet

Yo' momma's lips are so big, she needs a kick stand to hold them up

Yo' momma's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, she has to brush them with a butter knife

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, when she closes her mouth, her stomach lights up

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, when she drinks water, it turns into lemonade

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, crows fly down and pick at them like it was corn

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, Dorothy and Toto thought it was the Yellow Brick Road

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow, she's got more gold than Fort Knox

Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow that when she used Aim, she missed

Yo' momma's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles, they look like dice

Yo' momma's teeth are so black, when she spits, she seals driveways

Yo' momma's got so many gaps in her teeth, it looks like piano keys

Yo' momma's teeth are so bad, it looks like her father was Mr. Ed

Yo' momma's so toothless, when she couldn't eat an apple, she just gummed it to death

Yo' momma's so bucktoothed, she can eat corn-on-the-cob through a picket fence

Yo' momma's breath is so bad, when she yawns, her teeth duck

Yo' momma's breath is so bad, when she talks, her nose hairs fall out

Yo' momma's breath is so bad, people on the phone hang up

Yo' momma's breath is so bad, her mouth needs odor eaters

Yo' momma's breath is so bad, we don't know whether she needs gum or toilet paper

Yo' momma's breath is so stank, Crest and Colgate got a warrant for her arrest

Yo' momma's breath's so bad, 9 out of 10 dentists recommend that she rinse with Summer's Eve

Yo' momma's breath's so bad, when she wakes up in the morning, the mirror brushes its teeth

Yo' momma's house is so nasty, even the cockroaches wear slippers

Yo' momma's house is so dusty, the roaches ride around on dune buggies

Yo' momma's house is so small, the roaches got hunchback

Yo' momma's house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, and a cockroach stole my wallet

Yo' momma's house has roaches so big, the termites have to carry switchblades

Yo' momma's house is so small, I walked in the front door and tripped over the back fence

Yo' momma's house is so small, I put a key in the door lock and broke a window

Yo' momma's house is so small, the welcome mat just says wel...

Yo' momma's house is so poor, they tore it down and put up a slum

Yo' momma's house is so small, she dropped a washcloth and you had instant carpeting

Yo' momma's so wrinkled, you can find loose change in her skin

Yo' momma's so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on

Yo' momma's glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving

Yo momma's glasses are so thick, she could read my mind

Yo' momma's so blind, she dropped a dime and picked up two nickels

Yo' momma's blind and seeing another man

Yo' momma's so blind, she has one of her eyes stuck up her ass and she still can't see shit

Yo' momma's so cross-eyed, she watches TV in stereo

Yo' momma's so cross-eyed, she thought her only child was a twin

Yo' momma's nose is so big, she makes Pinocchio look like a cat

Yo' momma's nose is so big, she needs a screen on it to keep from sucking small children in

Yo' momma's feet are so big, she was the landlord of the old woman who lived in a shoe

Yo' momma's feet are so big, Bozo's envious

Yo' momma's feet are so big, her shoes gotta have license plates on 'em

Yo' momma's feet are so nasty, when she wants jam, she gets someone to run a loaf of bread between her toes

Yo' momma's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a living

Yo' momma's butt is so big, she has to shit in a dumpster

Yo' momma's butt is so big, she has more crack than New Jersey

Yo' momma's so tall, she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth

Yo' momma's so tall, she did a push-up and burned her back on the sun

Yo' momma's so flat, she's the only woman in the world with two backs

Yo' momma's so flat, she's jealous of the wall

Yo' momma's so hunchbacked, she has to look up to tie her shoes

Yo' momma's so hunchbacked, she has to wear goggles to wash dishes

Yo' momma's so fat and her back so crooked, when she lays down, people say I didn't know we had mountains

Yo' momma is so bad, when she got called for jury duty, she was found guilty

Yo' momma's so mean, she got yo' papa pregnant

Yo' momma's so grouchy, the McDonald's she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals

Yo' momma's middle name is Rambo

Yo' momma's twice the man you are

Yo' momma threw a frisbee three weeks ago that hasn't landed yet

Yo' momma, 'nuff said

Yo' momma talks on the phone so much, it's even busy when I dial the wrong number

Yo' momma's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear

Yo' momma's so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo' daddy has two jobs

Yo' momma's so weak, she had to fight the current in the bath tub

Yo' momma's so light-headed, when she jumps out of a window, she falls UP

Yo' momma's so slutty, she heard Santa say Ho Ho Ho and thought she was getting called three times

Yo' momma's breasts are so square, the milk comes out in cartons

I was walking down the street with yo' momma and they started shooting - they said 'hit the dirt', and everyone jumped on Yo' momma's back

Yo' momma's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The Club

Yo' momma's maxi pad is so thick, she could bend over and deflect bullets

Yo' momma's so greedy, when she wakes up in the morning, she looks under her bed to see if she lost any sleep

Yo' momma's such an alcoholic, in college, her major was Old English, room 800

Yo' daddy's like cement, takes him two days to get hard

Yo' daddy's so fat, even his dick has rolls

Yo' daddy's d*ck is so small, he makes yo' momma look hung

Yo' daddy's d*ck is so small, he'd been f*cking yo' momma for an hour and she asked if it was in yet. Yo' daddy has to stick his d*ck in the freezer to get hard

Yo' daddy suffers from d*ck-do disease...his stomach hangs out farther than his d*ck do

Yo' daddy's like an arcade game, give him a quarter, and you can play with his joystick

Yo' daddy's so lame, when his wife says, Give me ten inches and make it hurt

he does her three times and puts a vice on her head

Yo' daddy's so ugly, his own hand turns him down

Yo' daddy's so ugly, that's not a receding hair line, that's his hair running away from his face

Yo' momma's mass is so infinite that she's a singularity

Yo' momma's wave function is so chaotic, she's uncertain even after it collapses

Yo' momma's so old and so fat that Ulysses crawled up her butt with twenty soldiers and jumped out once inside Troy

Yo' momma's brain is so small, quarks beat up on it

Yo' momma's mass is so great that she has her own event horizon
laatste aanpassing
 
het is leuker om ze zelf te verzinnen
Je moeder is zo dik dat je een lunchpakket mee moet nemen als je eromheen wilt lopen
laatste aanpassing
 
Je moeder is zo dik dat ze bij een bevalling 4 uur extra moet persen
 
Je moeder is zo dik, vergeleken met haar is erica terpstra 'mollig'
 
Je moeder is zo dik, ze heeft een uitklap pagina in haar paspoort
 
Als iemand je moeder ligt te beffen, kan hij niet eens meer zien of de lamp nog aan is.
 
Je moeder is zo dik dat haar stuitje al begint te krullen
je moeder is zo scheel dat als ze huilt dat dr tranen over dr rug lopen...

je moeder is zo dik dat als je bovenop dr ligt en je rolt 3 x om dat je er nog bovenop ligt..
je moeder is zo dik dat als ze zich weegt dat er op de weegschaal staat WORD VERVOLGD
je moeder is zo dik, als ze een nieuwe trui koopt krijgt ze er stokken bij om hem op te zetten
 
je moeder is zo dik dat als ze zich weegt dat er op de weegschaal staat NIET MET ZN TWEEEN!!!
 
Je moeder is zo lelijk dat met halloween mensen verkleed gaan als haar!
 
Je moeder is zo dik dat ze milieu belasting moet betalen

Je moeder is zo dik, voor haar is de airbus uitgevonden

Je moeder is zo lelijk, je oma had haar beter kunnen doorslikken
 
Jouw moeder is zo dik, dat ze 2 horloges nodig heeft omdat haar reet in een andere tijdzone is als haar kop
jouw moeder is zo lelijk, daar laat je nog geen buffel op schijten
Jouw moeder is zo lelijk, heel nederland had gewilt dat jou opa zn zaakje in de heg had gespoten!!
 
je moeder is zo vies, ik had 'r per ongeluk aan de telefoon en ik had meteen een oorontsteking
 
mijn moeder is zo lief dat ze gewoon mocht blijven van mij...:p
laatste aanpassing
 
Als lelijk zijn in stenen uit te drukken was, is je moeder de Chinese Muur
 
jouw moeder heeft meer mannen geneukt dan dat er klinkers in de maasbruggen zitten
laatste aanpassing
Jullie moeders neukte elkaar, er ontstonden neuk fouten.
 
jouw moeder is zo triest en er nu al uitvaartdiensten worden gehouden zodat ze dr eigen verdriet kan verwerken :[
Jouw moeder was zo lelijk dat ze door de tuinman op de composthoop gegooit is.
 
jouw moeder is zo dom dat jij je maar hebt aangepast aan t niveau van thuis
Jouw moeder is zo een schijthoer dat ze voor een kwartje aangeboden wordt op de markt.
 
je moeder is zo vies, ik had 'r per ongeluk aan de telefoon en ik had meteen een oorontsteking


:respect:

Je moeder is zo dik dat je een lunchpakket mee moet nemen als je eromheen wilt lopen


:respect:
Jouw moeder ? Dat was toch een alien ?
 
jouw moeder is zo lelijk dat jij er n minderwaardigheidscomplex van hebt opgelopen....
Jouw moeder sloot jou jaren op in de kast omdat het beter was voor de wereld, ga terug :[
 
jouw moeder stinkt zo erg dat ze n straatverbod opgelegd heeft gekregen om minstens 50 meter bij andere mensen uit de buurt te blijven...
Je moeder is zo dik, Dat je met haar vlees
heel Etiopie uit de hongersnood kan halen!
 
klooster!! JE MOEDER ;-)
:P
 
Haha!
 
Als jouw vader een boer laat stinkt de hele straat naar sperma
 
vin t maar triest.. je moeder dit je vader dat :gaap: echt van die standaard dingen :gaap: kunnen zulke mensen niks orgineels bedenken ofzo.. meteen over familie te lope kankere :gaap:
 
Uitspraak van verwijderd op woensdag 3 augustus 2005 om 21:38:
Als jouw vader een boer laat stinkt de hele straat naar sperma

hahahaha!!!!

Uitspraak van verwijderd op donderdag 4 augustus 2005 om 01:31:
vin t maar triest.. je moeder dit je vader dat echt van die standaard dingen kunnen zulke mensen niks orgineels bedenken ofzo.. meteen over familie te lope kankere

Dit is pas een trieste opmerking! Kijk eens naar de titel van het topic, Moet iedereen elkaars moeder de hemel in prijzen ofzo?
 
Uitspraak van verwijderd op donderdag 4 augustus 2005 om 01:31:
vin t maar triest.. je moeder dit je vader dat echt van die standaard dingen kunnen zulke mensen niks orgineels bedenken ofzo.. meteen over familie te lope kankere

Tering, wat ben jij nerd
 
vin t maar triest.. je moeder dit je vader dat :gaap: echt van die standaard dingen :gaap: kunnen zulke mensen niks orgineels bedenken ofzo.. meteen over familie te lope kankere :gaap:


Is toch lachen, man! Ouwe sikkepit!

Ik vind dat [NL] achter jouw naam pas sneu. (n) Meeloop gedrag!
 
Je moedâh is zo lelijk dat de buren bij je inbreken om de gordijnen dicht te doen
 
Uitspraak van verwijderd op donderdag 4 augustus 2005 om 11:03:
Ik vind dat [NL] achter jouw naam pas sneu.

ach zijn wel meer dingen die "sneu" zijn volges jou toch :D
 
je moeder is zo dik dat ze in haar eentje al groepskorting krijgt
 
Als je moeder in bad gaat lijkt het net een olifant op sterk water
 
ach zijn wel meer dingen die "sneu" zijn volges jou toch :D


Zoals jouw harses?
 
:gaap: weer zo'n voorspelbaar antwoord hou die voorspelbare dinge in dat andere topic van je wil je